I have this habit. In a debate, an argument or even a casual discussion, when I am in contradiction with someone, my immediate response starts with a ‘No’. I do that because I am being defensive. The topic being discussed contradicts my beliefs or the facts I hold as true. This habit has to change. So, I try to be more conscious about it and refrain from doing that. But it’s not working all the time because just being conscious about it isn’t enough.
I read recently that creative meetings are those in which everyone encourages every idea. Think about it. Why can’t we listen to an idea and instead of criticizing it, think about how it can work. Give suggestions on how to make it work. Discuss it’s merits first and then if the final verdict is that there needs to be a better idea, let it go without saying “I thought so” or ‘I told you so”. You don’t have to try and win points for yourself. Contribute to making every idea or every plan a successful one. Be the Yes Man.
I am yet to try this out but I think with practice this will work in changing our attitude to one that is more positive. Those around us will notice how open we are to ideas and will start trusting us.
So tell me, why do you think this idea will work?
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Yes, it can work wonders.
And I am not saying that there will be any less number of contradictions, differences. What really helps is that it changes the overall tone of the meeting from an argument to a healthy discussion.
It will take only one member of the meeting to change this. If one member starts saying “Yes”, the others will follow suit in some time. However, again if one person starts contradicting, others will follow.
Never use the word ‘but’ and ‘no’ and learn to use ‘moreover’ and ‘even then’….and look at the vast difference it can make in any conversation…